In an episode of Single Drunk Female, protagonist Samantha finds herself overwhelmed in the middle of a party and winds up hiding in a closet.

Her sponsor finds her, and their exchange captures the situation—and life!—with simple and unavoidable logic:

• Olivia: “You can’t stay in here forever.”
• Samantha: “But none of the bad stuff is in here.”
• Olivia: “Neither is any of the good stuff.”

There are times hiding in the closet sounds like a fabulous plan. I’ve heard many girlfriends describe their escapist fantasies in this sort of way. Let’s just say there’s a lot of running and hiding.

“I would love it if there was a cave I could run off to, where no one could find me and maybe I’d just sleep until I was ready to come out!”

“I’m picturing a cabin in the woods where I can hole up for a while.”

“I wish everything came with a big ‘pause’ button!”

It’s not just sober women feeling this way, either. I’ve heard this sort of thing from moms, former students, and working women. We seem to be craving a chance to catch our breath and slow things down.

But these responses wouldn’t really help any of it, would they?

Yes, when we get burnt out, we need to address the situation: it’s not just a matter of choosing to get back out there. I wouldn’t ever suggest it that way! The stress in our bodies and the stressors causing it deserve our attention, and we should seek help before we’ll be able to move forward.

But there are times when, for whatever reason, we wish we could just opt out. It would be easier not to choose—or to choose not to try at all. And maybe it would be easier, except that life will continue whether we get into it or not!

To me, reading and writing are an invitation to intimacy, though how far into that relationship we get is up to us. I may choose, in my writing, to risk vulnerability for the potential reward of connection. I may choose to go deep into something I’m reading so that I can process something of my own that’s sparked by the topic or the voice.

Taking breaks in the closet? Maybe I’ll hide just often enough to catch my breath. Between times, though, there’s a lot beyond my hiding spot I’d like to explore.

Writing Prompts

• What’s the last thing you read that helped you go deep? What was your way in (a phrase, a question, an image, etc.)?
• What’s the last thing you wrote that you took to a new level? How does it make you feel?
• What’s left for you farther out there, out in the world? What closets are you stepping out of?