It’s not just for gamers.

Okay, I’m feeling some chagrin to say my 2026 project to produce daily readings, many of which together I believed would materialize into a daily reader, was… how you say?… not sustainable. I do enjoy the burst of energy I get from fresh starts: the new year, my birthday (January 10th, Capricorn energy thank-you-very-much). This year, it also didn’t hurt that I was trying stimulant medication for ADHD for the first time. January was a struggle, mentally and emotionally, but I was also lapping up this parfait of get-things-started energy.

I’m no gamer, but it’s time for a respawn.

There’s this rage quit thing a gamer might do: drop a grenade and blow themselves up, say. It’s just to get your character to regenerate, maybe to avoid being killed by a player on the enemy team. (Although, there’s also “trolling” the respawn: the enemy just waits for you at the place of your respawn to kill immediately upon your reappearance. The horrors persist, but so do you.)

The chagrin I feel is tangled up with a sense of defeat. It’s as if trying a thing and it not working out is automatically a failure, or that it means making the attempt at all was a mistake. I struggle with this in my daily life. If I doubt an outfit, then spill something down my front an hour later, it’s somehow evidence that my hunch was correct and it serves me right for trying to force something that was a mistake in the first place. Not rational, not helpful, but it plays out in my head anyway.

I’m trying to grow beyond this line of thinking. So here I am, resetting. 

I also ought to pledge that I won’t troll my own respawn. I’m allowed to try again if this attempt doesn’t go as I’d imagined, if this Caitie-writer character doesn’t show up the way I thought she would.

We’ll see. And that’s enough of what I need to know about the future: we’ll see.

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A Myself Only More So note to self: Let’s see about an average of a post a week. Go from there.

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Writing prompt: What merits a respawn right now? Ready, set, reset!

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